Wrightsville Beach
Sam and I here at the Cheerwatch Investigative Reporting Team wrapped up our first weekend in Wilmington with a two-day study conducted at sunny Wrightsville Beach on the southerness of Cheerwine. After conducting some extensive interrogations up and down the beach, startling news that had previously been only a rumor was finally confirmed: greedy Yankees are in fact hoarding our Cheerwine.
As you can see here, these rough guys from Boston have sunken their clam chowder-loving teeth into some of our tasty Cheerwine, and they don't look to be giving it up all too easily. Just look at the intimidating look on the tall bodyguard's face in the background.
Luckily, our research led us to a published expert on both Cheerwine and the threat posed by Yankee hoarders. Kathleen, the cherry guru seen analyzing the Cherry Different Soda with me on the beach below, has conducted her own studies into the southern uniqueness of Cheerwine at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Referencing previous data collected by the Cheerwine sampling team of last summer, Kathleen stated, "The threat of Cheerwine depletion due to the greediness of northerners is very real and very scary."
At this point, no viable solution seems to be in sight. Sam and I are strapping in and holding on for the battle, though, so keep tuning in for the latest news.
Reporting bravely from the trenches, this is Matt Clements with the Cheerwatch News Team.